Strange Times; Strange Dreams

I’m trying to keep busy at work, but it’s not very motivating when there’s no direction from management and little communication between the only other member of your team. This place is really going downhill.

People have left. People have been let go. On Thursday we were all on a “MANDATORY” conference call where we were yelled at for 45 minutes by our CEO for something that 90% of us had no idea what it was about. The structure is being rearranged pretty much weekly – yet it’s not being announced, so most people don’t know who they report to anymore. I think it’s only a matter of time before there’s a rash of more people leaving (perhaps myself included if I can get a portfolio together?). I love this company, but this environment isn’t very healthy at all.

The only time that I feel productive at work these days is when I’m scheduled to help upgrade UNIX servers (on the weekends). I normally prefer Saturdays so I can have a break before I start another work week, but that didn’t work out this week. I ended up working 14+ hours on Sunday, so now my schedule feels all messed up. It really feels like it should be much later in the week than “Tuesday”. Meanwhile I have to work through Friday, then hop on a train to NYC for the weekend, come back and work Monday & Tuesday, then fly out to the west coast. It’s going to be a very, very long week.

There’s a meeting (“luncheon”) scheduled for Thursday at work. Since I worked Sunday, for some reason I thought the meeting was today. Anyway… I was not invited to this meeting. The last time that happened, it was a way of figuring out who was being let go. I doubt that’s the case this time around. However, it’s still a little scary and it’s confusing how random the invite list appears to be. They left out something like 1/3 – 1/2 of the people who work in this office.

I had some strange dreams last night. One of them had to do with this luncheon but I forget the details now. Another dream that I remembered was just… weird. And surreal. I had a dream that I had suddenly received a lot of mail that I(?) had mailed myself years ago… and it had gotten caught up or stuck somewhere in the postal service until now. This was all like, old unopened junk mail from various accounts or magazines that I had signed up for – you know, those reminders to renew your subscription and stuff. There were also random things that could have all been part of a very large and detailed scrapbook – old notes to myself, to do lists, scraps of paper, etc. It looked like all of the junk that I would have normally thrown away over the years – all put neatly in large manila envelops. When I received all this mail, I was a bit freaked out. Like, why is this all arriving now? Where has it been all these years? And even better – I thought I had all this stuff with me still and I didn’t remember sending it to myself. But I didn’t want to throw it away because it was helping me remember people and events from my past.

Weird.

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